Monday, January 24, 2011
I’ve realised that I only ever think about blogging when I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself. I still have occasional moments of melancholy but overall things are better. Exams are over, and it feels like I have a future. Well, obviously barring some sort of unfortunate turn of events I have a future, but I mean one in medicine. It probably will be in emergency. Without the added stress of study life’s not so bad. Although I am in desperate need of a holiday!
I’d like to blog more, but I don’t know what to write about. Even with exams out of the way I spend nearly all my time at work, and my days off recovering from endless night shifts and running around trying to catch up with friends.
I’m hoping that 2011 is the year of more fun!! Now I just have to figure out how.
Actually, I think I know the first step. When I was a kid I was diagnosed with social phobia, and although I’ve made leaps and bounds since then, social situations still provoke a lot of anxiety for me. I feel awkward, nervous and I always feel as though I look awful and that no one will want to talk with me. But I still keep getting invited to things, so I guess I can’t be too bad. This year, I’m going to challenge myself by making myself commit to social events and not back out of them at the last minute. Even if I have to turn up to places alone. And I feel fat.
I also need to take better care of myself. Eat less crap, exercise more.
The last few years there’s always been one step more to take before I can get on with things. I’m in my late 20s. No more holding patterns and waiting. It’s time to get on with it.
