Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The study isn't going well. After much reflection, I think I know why I'm having so much trouble focussing. I don't know if emergency's for me.

In so many ways I love the work, the acuity, the random patients that come in to the department and figuring out who's actually sick and why... But I'm unhappy at work at the moment. And I don't know if it's me or the job.

There's a lot of bullshit that comes with working in a large emergency department - in any large workplace. It's getting me down. I don't know how I'm doing relative to the other junior doctors, and I'm getting mixed messages from various bosses and I don't know where I stand or what I should be doing.

I feel like I should be better than the other junior docs, because this is what I want. I probably put too much pressure on myself, because I am still so junior after all.

But for the first time ever I don't know if I want emergency. And I don't know if emergency wants me.

So it's difficult to focus on study at the moment.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Piker

I piked on dinner tonight so I could stay home and study.

I am so lame.

But quite pleased to have some extra time to study! :P

Me

I'm a doctor. I'm little, both in size and doctoring-status.
And I'm sick of it!
Um, the status, the size I came to accept a long time ago... :/

I'm second year out of medical school, and hoping to specialise in emergency medicine. I work, I study for exams, and I eat out far too much.

;;